I am not one of those dyspeptic folks spending inaugural week in
mourning. No black for this blue gal. I will leave it to the more
ardent opponents to turn their backs, die-in in D.C., and ``not
spend one damn dime.'' I even passed up the chance to join the
disloyal opposition that sailed to Cozumel on what they call the
Denial Cruise.
Sue me, I choose to cast my lot with the congenitally and
cockeyed optimists. You know who you are.
My optimism begins with the cry: ``TGIFB'' or Thank God It's
Finally Begun. The worst part of the post-election period was the
dazed recognition that it was still the first Bush term. Once
the $40 million halftime show is over, the clock is ticking.
More than that, my brand of hope springs from the old joke about
the optimist given a roomful of horse manure for his birthday. He
cheerfully began shoveling on the assumption that ``there's got to
be a pony in here somewhere.''
The particular pony that I am grabbing onto is a little-noticed
warning issued last week about -- ta da -- Teflon. Bush's own EPA
announced that even low-level exposure to a chemical in Teflon might
pose a risk to human health.
Well, I figure it this way: If Teflon is losing its Teflon image,
can the Teflon presidency be far behind?
Once upon a 1980s time, Ronald Reagan was dubbed the Teflon
president because nothing stuck to the Gipper. Today, Bush makes
Reagan look like Velcro.
The first term ended with a bang that was greeted with nary a
whimper. First, the administration declared an end to the search for
weapons of mass destruction. Then the CIA reported that Iraq had
become a breeding ground for terrorists. The war to pre-empt weapons
of mass destruction and thwart terrorism found no weapons and
multiplied terrorists. But not a single head rolled.
When asked by the Washington Post why not, the president said
that the election was ``the accountability moment.'' No recounts.
And when asked why he hadn't found Osama bin Laden, the president
replied, ``Because he's hiding.''
From what I read, that nasty little chemical used to make Teflon
is now everywhere and in everyone. ``It is like fairy dust,'' says
an EPA scientist. The political Teflon that runs deep in the
Potomac.
What happened to CIA Director George Tenet, who said finding WMDs
would be a ``slam dunk''? Teflon. He got a Presidential Medal of
Freedom and a $4 million book contract. What happened to Dick
Cheney, who kept connecting Saddam to Sept. 11? Teflon. He's now
connecting the Social Security problem to the privatization
solution.
Charles Graner is going to jail for 10 years for prisoner abuse
at Abu Ghurayb, as well he should. But what about Alberto Gonzales,
who described the Geneva Conventions as ``obsolete'' and ``quaint''?
He's been nominated to become attorney general.
CBS took a big hit for relying on false documents in a story
about the president's Air National Guard service. But who took the
hit for relying on false documents about uranium that went from
Niger to Iraq? Condi Rice, who said ``we don't want the smoking gun
to be a mushroom cloud,'' is set to be the next secretary of state.
Slip sliding away.
If we've learned anything these four years, it's that being a
conservative means never having to say you're sorry. Bill O'Reilly
still sits in the ``no spin zone'' after settling a dirty-talk suit.
Bill Bennett remains the resident moralist despite his habit as a
big-time gambler. Rush Limbaugh hasn't lost a dittohead for being an
addict.
Nevertheless, in my life as the resident optimist I figure that
if the EPA is worried about what the Teflon chemical is doing to the
lab rats, it's only a matter of time before the alarm on what
political Teflon is doing to the citizen.
Can the man who scared us into a war scare us into privatizing
Social Security? Can he promote the future and run up the deficit?
Four more years and we're just beginning to, um, scratch the
surface.
TGIFB. I think I'll stick around. And stick is the operative
word.
ELLEN GOODMAN is a Boston Globe columnist.
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